People who activate and deactivate you

Imagine a moment in your life when you set a goal for yourself. ‘I’m going to quit smoking.’ ‘I’m going to lose 20 pounds to shape up for summer.’ ‘I’m going to start running because I miss doing exercise.’ ‘I’m going to learn Portuguese because I want to watch Brazilian soap operas in their original language.’ In fact, you can think of any objective that you’ve started but for some reason never completed. Say the circumstances were not good or you were just lazy, it doesn’t matter. Now I ask you to remember your friends and your family’s reaction when you told them about what you took a stab at. Now I ask you to think of those who got excited about the news. They might have said: “Bring it on!  The point is that you need those people who supported you. They are going to be your pillars on your way. If you stumble on the way, they are going to raise your spirit. They are going to guard and protect your self-esteem. Their opinion is going to be more important than anyone else’s. It is not a problem if you don’t usually share the positive changes in your life with your friends until the spark becomes a proper fire. The most important thing is that you give yourself positive feedback. Don’t become that little devil sitting on your own shoulder who doesn’t believe in yourself.

Be prepared that your behavior, your attitude, and your aura will change after the first few days and that people around you will notice the change. The individuals who care about you will be happy to see the positive turn in your life and “You are glowing with happiness!” but also negative ones like, “I wonder how long it will last!” or “You always take a stab at something and never succeed.” Make use of all the positive comments. Positivity is your most important mainspring. As for the negative comments, ignore them completely. Don’t let anyone ruin your mood or knock you off your new path. Let me tell you two stories from my childhood that I have been carrying with me. My class at primary school was a batch of bad apples, to put it mildly. The class started off with a group of 40 children, which decreased to 13 by the time we left. Many of the children had to repeat a year, but even more were moved to other schools by their parents who had noticed the lack of potential in the class. Faced with a similar decision, I asked my parents to let me stay because I didn’t want to lose my friends. At the end of year 8 when we had to apply for grammar schools, secondary technical schools, and vocational schools, I thought I had a chance of going to a grammar school so I could study IT. I was the only one in the class who dared to even mention this dream. Right away someone tried to take me down a peg. My favorite teacher told me that it was completely useless for me to apply because I had no chance to win a place at that school. I can understand now why she said this. The fact is that I hadn’t put much effort into learning up until that point. Even so, a comment like that can be very harmful to a young spirit. An adult should know better than to discourage a student in this way. Luckily, I rose above the lack of enthusiasm from the people around me, and after getting 100% on the IT test, I was guaranteed a place at my school of choice.

I got the other kick in the backside after our high school graduation when a teacher who I admired told us the following: “I will be surprised if more than two people in this class are going places in life.” Then he looked at those two, nodded to them and said “I wonder how many of you will be able to have anything to show for it at the 10-year reunion.” I just sat there, feeling like I’d been knocked off my perch. Even many years later I felt heartbroken whenever I remembered that moment. Subsequently, my teacher’s words inspired me, though I doubt that’s what he intended to achieve. Make sure you understand the obvious fact that if you get negative criticism, it is just a weapon of someone who is weak and unable to reach their own goals. The people who love you are with you. Use their positivity to work on the rough diamond that YOU are now. It is vital that you repeat all the positive feedback you’ve received.